No words...

I find myself without adequate words to describe what has happened in the past week.  What started as a simple arthritic problem for Blitzen ended up taking her life.  A week ago, I never once thought she would be gone today.  I watched Piper get progressively worse for a few weeks, but I knew it was coming.  With Blitzen, though, this was a hip problem, and it would be easily treated.  I didn't expect her to deteriorate so quickly this weekend, and to not be able to walk or eat at all. 

Last night was horrible.  She was restless, and whining.  After moving her into our bedroom, I hoped her pain meds would kick in, and she'd be able to sleep for a while.  After a trip outside (where she could not stand) and a few laps of water, I settled her down on the floor, kissed her head, and told her to get some sleep.  At some point around 3am, I noticed it was quiet, and hoped she was sleeping.  I think in my heart I knew she was gone, but my sleep-deprived brain didn't register that until this morning at 6am.  I was awoken by Dave telling me she was gone.  The tears didn't come immediately, because I was firstly relieved that she was no longer in pain.  The tears came later, when I realized I could still hear her nails clicking on the kitchen floor.

Those who know me well know I am extremely attached to my animals.  It's a trait I've had as long as I can remember.  Blitzen was the first dog we adopted after we bought our house.  Somewhere there's a picture of her as a puppy, out in the backyard as the fence is being built.  HER fence.  HER yard.  Of course, she shared this yard with Piper later, but it was hers in the beginning, and she would chase a tennis ball or a stick that was thrown for hours.  God, I miss her.

We buried her with a stick this morning.  Hopefully she and Piper won't fight over it.