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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mothers Day, Then and Now

Those who've known me over 6 years are aware of the issues we had while trying to have a baby.  For those of you unaware, I lost 4 pregnancies in about 2-3 years. What I'm about to say is a reflection on those times.

Mother's Day was a painful day for me for a few years. It wasn't easy to explain my quietness or lack of good cheer. It wasn't that I wasn't happy to celebrate my mom- I was. But it was more for me. It was a reminder of the losses I'd experienced and the frustration at my body for what I believed was betrayal. The worst was when I miscarried just a few days before Mother's Day. The depression was suffocating and my mind simply would not function. My husband had no idea what to do with me while battling his own grief. In short, I began to hate Mother's Day.

Then suddenly everything worked and in May of 2010,  I celebrated my first Mother's Day. There are simply no words to describe my feelings that day. Those years of desolation and despair seemed long forgotten.  In reality though, I remembered those holidays all too well.

So why bring this all up now?  This is my way of saying to those who celebrate Mother's Day without a thought to not forgot those who are struggling to conceive or have just experienced a loss. Unless you have never been able on conceive, have lost a pregnancy, or have lost a child, you cannot possibly fathom why this day is soul shattering to some. It's best not to try to understand their grief. My advice would be to not forget them, and let them know you are there for them. Check in on them the next day, give them a call, or take them out for a drink. Just BE there in some capacity. They may not need you, or, they may need you desperately.

I feel extremely lucky on this day because I'm finally a mother, but those years of sadness will always be a part of me. To my friends who are struggling, please do not give up. To those who have experienced a loss, my thoughts are with you and I hope you can find peace in some way.

Monday, April 21, 2014

I've found Pinterest!

I know I know, you're saying "big deal" right?  Everyone has already found Pinterest.  But for me, I hadn't actually been on the site to do anything until earlier this year.  And oh my goodness, did I pin stuff!

Now there are haters out there who say it's just another time suck and completely pointless.  I disagree!  I've actually went back and found things later that I knew I had pinned for future reference.  My herbal salves to make later this year are there, decorating ideas for the My Little Pony party for Caris are there, RV tips, and .........glamping!  More on glamping in another post.

Do I use it more than Facebook?  Nah!  More than Twitter? Probably.  Find me here if you care to see what I've been pinning!

Aaaaand......we're back!

Back after a hiatus!  How many has that been now?????  Three?  Oopsies....sorry.

Graduate school is over and spring has sprung!  We've been busy getting our garden tilled and planted, and cleaning our flower beds.  They've been neglected, so the flower beds are an enormous job.  I have no idea what are weeds and what are actually flowers returning.  I'm betting their mostly weeds since I don't remember many flowers last year.  This also means I need to buy flowers to plant.  This isn't a bad thing usually, but when a certain 4 year old enters the flower nursery, she tends to pick every pink and purple flower that can be had.

Our chickens are still clucking, and our little plant business is still growing.  The cold weather has hampered our efforts a bit, so we won't have as much to sell, but we'll definitely have enough to plant.  We've tried to streamline what we sell based on what we want to plant so we don't have quite so many varieties this year. We'll have to wait and see what happens.

I plan to strategically plant herbs this year.  What does that mean, you ask?  Individual plots is the answer!  Between what my mother in law wants to sell to those who use herbs for alternative means (i.e. not illegal means!!) and what I want to harvest, I need individual plots to keep things straight.  This is very exciting for me, as this year I plan to create some holistic remedies with my herbs.  First up is calendula salve, which is basically marigold flowers, but it's a much better alternative to triple antibiotic ointment for minor cuts and scrapes.  I'd love to learn how to distill oils, so we may try that in the future.

I hope to update more often...and I know I say this each time I post!  With no homework requirements, hopefully I will able to stick with this!