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Saturday, February 4, 2012

Some decisions.....

After the mess this week was, I've come to some decisions about the future.

We are not getting a new dog any time soon.  We still miss Blitzen terribly, and every morning I hear her nails clicking on the kitchen floor.  I'm not ready for a new dog, and neither is Dave.

Over the last year, I've pinned by sense of accomplishment on graduating from college with honors.  I found out earlier this week that the GPA I had been going off of is not what is considered for honors.  My transfer grades take me below 3.5, and out of honors range.  After a nearly hysterical fit, where I cried in frustration for about an hour and was basically unwilling to discuss the situation with anyone, I came to a conclusion.  My graduating without honors is no reason to need a hefty dose of Xanax.  The accomplishment of graduating college isn't about honors, it's about getting through my degree and calling myself a college graduate.  I had this vision of getting all my work in before March 31st  so I could have my honors read at May commencement.  I knew it would be a horrible 8 weeks where I would be unbearable to be around.  I don't like me that way, and neither does anyone else.  After some soul searching at 3am, I finally realized my sense of accomplishment does not hinge on graduating with honors.  It hinges on actually graduating.  I've given up a lot since I began this journey back in 2006 or so, when I stumbled onto the English program at Ivy Tech.  I refuse to give up anymore by killing myself to get my work into my instructors in 8 weeks.  So, I'm taking the entire 16 week semester, and will walk in May commencement.

This will allow me time to prepare my applications to multiple MFA programs from here to the East Coast.  My goal in all of this is to be a college professor, and an MFA will allow me to do this without the many, many years it would take for me to achieve a PhD.  Spalding University also has my application, and is need of my writing sample and essays.  Murray University is another option- close to home and much less expensive than most.  Goddard College, the place where the low residency MFA program was born, is my shot in the dark.  They are nationally acclaimed and do not take many new students each semester.  We'll see how this goes.

This plan will also allow me time to actually write, something I've missed quite a bit.  Not only do I need 15-25 pages of fiction for applications, I have unfinished business with a few of my characters.  The mistress is back, and she's ready to rumble.


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