Attentively Attentive to all Things

I'm taking a trip down memory lane this evening.  As I sit in my living room (that has puked Disney princesses, mind you), I think back to Christmas last year, and the year before.  It's very true when they say having a baby will change your life, but even more so when you go from just the two of you on Christmas morning, to three of you. Caris' Third Christmas 2011 This was the first time Caris actually ripped open presents and became excited when she saw what her present was.  It's a little bittersweet; she's growing up so very fast!  This year, we had to get out of her way!  After a brief misunderstanding that Santa was not coming to take her princesses away, but rather, to bring her some more, everything was as it should be.  How she came up with the notion that Santa was coming to take them away, I have no idea.  There's no photo with Santa this year...mostly because whenever she came within 10 feet of him, she became terrified and burst into t...

Okay, so yeah...it's been a while since I've posted. I know that.  Don't hold it against me.  :) Caris has a new obsession.  That's right...it's Disney Princesses.  I just started Cinderella for the second time today, and since 9am, we've watched Beauty and the Beast , Sleeping Beauty , and Tangled .   I didn't realize how easy it was to memorize songs from these movies, but I guess after watching them over and over, it's bound to sink in at some point. While I watch Cinderella , the current favorite, for about the millionth time, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the last few months.  They've been hectic; full of happiness, sorrow, anger, anxiety, and mounds of stress. Last month, I watched as many of my fellow co-workers lost their jobs in a lay off at my firm.  Over time, we've gotten somewhat back to normal, but I will always miss those I worked with who no longer have jobs.  I will continue to worry for them in this horrible e...

Why am I blogging instead of working on homework?  Well, I'll tell you why... - It's almost 10:30, and I can't look at another page that was written by Henry James. - I've decided I don't like Henry James. - While I'm on this not liking kick, I'm not fond of Madame Bovary either. - I don't like my literature class. - I'd rather work on my Drama assignments, but I can't because I'm behind in the literature class. - I do not have enough hours in the day. - I really want to go to bed, but I feel guilty because I've not finished by assignment. And...that's it.  Back to the nonsensical language of Henry James trying to review a French novel.  He. Makes.No. Sense. Whatsoever.

Yesterday, myself, Dave and Caris walked in the JDRF walk in downtown Indianapolis.  Juvenile diabetes is an awful thing for a child to have to go through.  We walked for my friend Sara's little boy, Ryan, who was diagnosed at 2 years.  Thinking about Caris being diagnosed with something like this just makes me shudder.  Diabetes at any age is a horrible disease, of which insulin is not a cure.  More research needs done to discover a cure for this awful ailment.  I have an uncle with an insulin pump.  My grandfather had, and my mother has type II diabetes, and it's a daily struggle to keep blood sugar levels regulated, while living a normal life.  One my hidden fears is being diagnosed myself, since it seems to run in the family.  I was more than happy to hold a bake sale, and to walk for Ryan, and for the others kids who suffer from juvenile diabetes.  If you can, and care, please donate.  Ryan's Super Crew team page is  here ...

So I've been AWOL for a few months.  Oopsie!  My goal of posting at least once a month have fizzled away in a sea of literature homework and a toddler.  Life happens, so to speak.  So here's what I've been up to since my last post in July. Since July, we have decided to raise goats in 2012.  That decision was made about 10 seconds after I saw a Nigerian Dwarf goat.  Check them out here and you'll see why:  http://www.ndga.org/ I started back to school at the end of August.  Taking only 9 hours, I thought this semester would be much easier and I would have more free time to write, etc.  Oh, how wrong I was!  These 3 classes are kicking my butt in all sorts of ways.  If you follow me on Facebook, you've seen my check-ins at SMWC, and my utter joy at being on campus for stats class.  Not.  My literature class is HARD, and the drama class, while fun, is very challenging.  I'm learning lots, when I get over being overw...

If you follow my blog, and have the most recent Flickr photo stream pictures, you'll discover we went to our county fair today.  I entered three photos into the open class amateur category, and came home with a 3rd place.  Not bad for a first go!  We wandered aimlessly with my parents through the poultry barn, the goat barn, the sheep barn, the swine barn, and the cattle barn.  Caris pet a baby goat, a mule, and I think she got her little hands inside a sheep pen to touch their wool.  Of course, the fair can't go on unless it's literally 95 degrees in the shade, and we were sweltering.  Luckily, Caris is too young to understand that at 5pm, the carnival rides start.  The day will come, however, when our little farm girl decrees she wants to ride the rides.  Until then, we'll stick to animals and open class competitions. And besides, I hate carnies.  Very small hands.  Smell of cabbage.  ;)

I have a rant ahead, and before I get going, let me preface what I am about to rant about.  For about a year now, we've been making an effort to more environmentally friendly.  No, we're not as good at this as we'd like, but it's a slow process and we keep plugging away.  We have plans to do more, but require the time to put such practices into place.  We're getting there, however. One of the things I've been trying really hard to do is stop using plastic grocery sacks in favor of the fabric ones. I have nothing against anyone who uses them, of course.  They are handy to have around and last a long time.  However, when you get to where you have 2 cabinets full of them, then it's time to rethink the plastic grocery sack.  Yes, we can take them to recycled (another stage in our process), but why not use something reusable?  I have multiple fabric bags from many, many different places: CVS, Kroger, Walmart, the bookstore, one from my dear friend Kr...

....I am keeping chickens.  The history of keeping chickens for eggs, meat, and feathers goes way, way back, and I won't bore you with a lecture.  Needless to say, we're doing something many have done before us.  I resisted at first, thinking about the smell, the poo, and the general overall ick that would come along with them.  Then I visited a friend and her flock.  I was hooked.  Hers free range and actually greeted me as I stepped out of the truck.  As I watched them crowd around the feed, I thought "I can do this!"  Next, I set out learning about breed, because yes, there are many, many breeds of chickens!  Not all chickens lay white eggs, the majority lay brown, and then there are those that lay blue ones.  I agonized for weeks over what breed I wanted, then I realized I could order multiple breeds at once!  Happy thought indeed!  I decided to narrow it down to 4 breeds, and 12 chickens to start with.  I didn't want...

...my baby girl Caris was born.  Many of you know the struggles we went through to have a baby.  I was practically into my seventh month of pregnancy before I dared to buy anything for her for fear of jinxing everything.  Her birth is a blur for me, as I was very sick and sadly don’t remember much from that time.  The prominent memories are those of worry because she was so tiny, and that she wasn’t warm enough, or eating enough.  I was worried about the heart murmur that kept her from being immediately released, and most of all, I was scared to death that I wouldn't know what to do when we got her home.  That notion was tested a few times in the middle of the next several nights, but lo and behold, she has made it to two years without too many issues.  Experienced moms will tell you all those thoughts are normal and will never cease, and indeed today I am still worried about those same things.  However, now I’ve added her falling down the baseme...

Last night at 9:30pm, I uploaded my last assignment for the semester!  I am now a free chickie until the end of August.  I can't even describe the feeling of freedom I have. I have a to-do list a mile long, but I have a reprieve until after Caris' 2nd birthday party on June 4th.  This list includes plans for to turn Caris' nursery into a toddler room, the purging of my closet (*shudders*), the purging of my kitchen, redecorating both bathrooms, taking care of flower beds, and at some point, read and review as many books as possible.  You never realize the simple joy of reading a book of your choosing, until you are made to read uninteresting textbooks for a class that has nothing to do with your major.  *sigh* I also hope to get some writing done, and a certain story finished.  We'll see how that goes.  My writing bug hasn't kicked in yet, but I'm hoping it will soon. We're off to Gatlinburg, TN this weekend for a family vacation. Yep, that'...

....and we've been everywhere today!  We started with breakfast at the Crackerbarrel, which is always a great place to take Caris.  Sadly, I forgot to take a picture of the blueberry muffin that was quite literally as big as her head.  There's always much fun to be had with crayons and the little toys they have on the tables.  She even ate yogurt with a normal sized spoon and didn't end up with it all over her,  which is a feat itself.  Then we went down to Lowe's to buy...well, I'm not sure what we originally went for, but we ended up with a VeggieTales herb garden starter set, and two sunflower and one pumpkin starter sets.  Then it was off to Sam's to find a wall mounted hand sanitizer thing, but of course, they don't have these. We ended up with diapers, some outfits for Caris, and a hugely huge back of oranges.  After this, I tried for Starbucks, but compromised for The Apple House instead.  We have some lovely greenhouses around this ar...

Tonight, around 8pm, we lost Piper.  I have to get this out, so please forgive me for the rambling. Piper was 9 years old, but never acted like she was an older dog.  She was full of energy and life.  Piper was probably the sweetest dog I have ever had the privilege of having in my life.  She always wanted to be where you were, whether it be in the bedroom, or in the living room--she was there. At the beginning of this month, I noticed she was breathing funny.  Her entire stomach was going in and out, along with her chest, and I knew something wasn't right.  She wasn't eating well, but we had just changed foods, so I thought she didn't like what we had bought.  We went back to the old food, and she still wouldn't eat.  She sounded like she had a cold, but I couldn't shake the feeling there was something else going on.  Our vet confirmed her diagnosis of blastomycosis, a fungal infection that coats the inside of the lungs with a thick yeas...

I've not blogged recently, mostly because I've been busy with school.  Okay, overwhelmed with school.  But that came to a bit of a halt this past week. One of our dogs, Piper, was diagnosed with blastomycosis, a deadly fungal infection.  She acquired this by breathing in a spore, which turned into an infection in her lungs.  My once powerful, and sweet German shepherd girlie is now a very sick, thin, baby.  It breaks my heart to have to tempt her with all sorts of foods to get some calories in her.  Today, nothing would induce her to eat but about five licks of gravy and meat.  Yesterday, she ate 4 eggs.  She still drinks, though.  Especially after I force peanut butter in her mouth and make her swallow. I'm not naive enough to think she will come through this with flying colors.  If you followed the link above, and read the information, you know we're likely fighting a losing battle.  But, as long as she continues to make an e...

I usually do not have any problems with Walmart.  I see them as a necessary evil, and so I do shop there for groceries, etc.  I'd rather have a Target, but I digress.... So today I went to Walmart to print out some pictures for Dave's Valentine's Day present.  My dear friend Sara, who is an excellent photographer, kindly took pictures of myself and Caris at my house a few weeks ago.  Today, I went to Walmart to have these printed, so I could frame them for Dave.  When I arrived, I was asked for a release to reprint the photos.  I was confused, as these prints were not taken at a professional studio, but in my living room.  When I explained this to her, I was told I could not have my pictures unless I had a written release from the photographer.  Umm...excuse me?  After explaining again that these were not from a studio (to which the guy standing next to her said "they're studio, they have to be") I became a little angry.  The girl wait...

....and I'm already behind.  This is not my fault, however.  I have only one class that I can actually do homework in, and that would be my film class.  The textbook for my ethics class has not arrived, and my professor for Shakespeare has had a power outage due to the storm, and cannot send me the syllabus because it's on her desktop computer. *sigh* So technically I'm not behind.  It's still worrisome, however.

In defiance of the continuous winter weather we keep having, I have changed my blog look to something flowery and summery. Take that, Old Man Winter!

So the adventure began Monday night when it began to rain.  As night fell, that rain turned to freezing rain, and proceeded to cover everything in sight.  Tuesday was mostly uneventful, until the sleet began later in the evening. After making an emergency pot of chili, we spent the evening watching the electricity go off and on, waiting for the  moment it would go off and not come back on.  That happened at 10:55pm.  *sigh*  Power outages don't bother me too much, because when you chose to live in the country, you have to learn to deal with these things.  What I don't like is power outages during the winter, when the temperature outside drops into the single digits.  That's what we were facing today.  We emptied the contents of our fridge and put most of it outside in a sheltered place so it wouldn't spoil.  After the genius idea of using our ice-covered gas grill burner to heat up lunch, I kept adding wood to the upstairs fireplace, and...

Sense and Sensibility Bicentenary Challenge 2011 The Diary of Colonel Brandon , by Amanda Grange Colonel Brandon happens to be one of my favorite Jane Austen heroes, and Amanda Grange's look into his private thoughts makes him even more my favorite.  In this heartbreaking, yet amusing tale, we learn of his history with Eliza, his first love, and her daughter, seduced by Willoughby.  Grange portrays Brandon's heartache so well with so few words, exactly like the soft spoken Colonel Brandon we all imagine.  His quiet love for Marianne, and his generosity to Edward create the character we all know and love.  I was moved by his grief at losing Eliza, but shed tears as Marianne accepted him at long last.  His fellow soldiers in India and in England, and his insufferable family complete the story of Austen's quiet Colonel, and give us an idea why he is the man he is.  A wonderful read for any Jane Austen fan, but a particularly delightful one for lovers of ...

So I went to the doctor today.  Who cares, you might think to yourself...people go to the doctor everyday. For me, going to this doctor in particular, makes my blood pressure skyrocket.  My OB/Gyn is a wonderful doctor, and I have Caris because of him, but my blood pressure rises because of the anxiety I always get when he starts wanting to do tests on me.  My paternal side has a strong history of cancer, in particular a great aunt had uterine, ovarian, and cervical cancer.  You can appreciate my anxiety, yes?  I obviously have no symptoms of that deadly disease, but all it takes is a fleeting thought of it to send me reeling.  The last several times I was in his office, it was happy, baby on the ultrasound visits, and talk of bed rest and delivery. My reasons for going today are not a secret...I want Caris to have a little sister or brother.  However, I've learned from the past that it's best if I pay a visit to the doctor and get the prescribed c...

So tonight I attended the first Aurora meeting of the semester.  I really enjoy these meetings, mostly for the discussion that I don't get being a distance student.  Well, tonight, the discussion turned interesting, and I had to bite my tongue at some remarks another student made. These remarks pegged her as young, and lacking knowledge of the literary world.  I'm not claiming I have extensive knowledge, but over time, I've learned a few things. So it went like this- we critiqued a short story this evening and it was obvious to me that either this author did not have a good grasp of grammar, or English was not their first language.  I leaned towards the language, just because of the errors I saw.  It was a story about a woman having her forty-first birthday, and feeling like she was no longer pretty, and that her husband no longer felt attracted to her.  This woman tried many things to preserve her youth, and decided the night of her birthday to stop at a...

Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrave Manor, by Stephanie Barron Having never read any in this series of books, let me first say I was very excited to learn of a mystery series featuring Jane Austen.  Being a Nancy Drew lover, I was psyched to read the entire series. And now after reading the first mystery, I am even more psyched!  I couldn't put it down! Jane attends her great friend Isobel, the newly wed Countess of Scargrave, at a ball in honor of her marriage.  Being of humble circumstances, you immediately feel Jane's unease at being surrounded by the finery of the ton, but she deals with it well and enjoys herself.  This pattern is repeated throughout the book, as well as her self doubt in breaking off an engagement.  It is Jane's life, mixed in with the murders at Scargrave that make this book so enjoyable.  I think if it had just been the mystery, the book would not have been as well-rounded.  Jane's natural wit when put into practice ...

So today I received the schedule for my school return coming up in a few weeks.  This break has been way too short, and yet, I am ready to get started again.  This semester I believe will prove to be interesting, for many reasons: Shakespeare: while I am not opposed to an entire class on Shakespeare, I will admit I am a bit intimidated.  And I have the same professor (Sister) from my Women Writer's class who I had so many problems getting my grades back.  I've already heard from a past student of this class with this professor, and the problems she had.  I hope beyond hope there are no issues. Film, Culture, and Creativity: I can't wait for this class!  I have the same professor as I did for my images class, who so graciously allowed me an extra week to get my assignments in without paying for an extension.  I'm psyched for this one and I hope it is just as awesome as I hope it is. Christian Ethics: Okay, my professor for this class is Mr. Collin...

Ah, so here we is go...the next big snow storm of the season is upon us.  This means the mass hordes will head to the grocery store to stock up on the staples of bread, milk, and eggs, as if that will save all of mankind from a snowstorm.  I only needed a few things of the non-staple variety, so with Caris strapped into the newly sanitized shopping cart, we headed into the mass of people frantic for food to ride out the storm.  There were moms trailing three or so kids, wondering around with carts so full not one more thing would fit inside; elderly women, their coats buttoned to their chins, Isotoner gloves on, picking through the jam to find their favorite; and elderly men, with mostly empty carts except for canned soup and frozen dinners.  There were people everywhere...no aisle was empty with one exception: the wine aisle.  Here I turned and stood for a moment, checking things off my list, out of the way of the mass mob vying for the last scraps of non-peris...

I am disgusted.  This will be no mild-mannered blog post, folks.  I'm pissed.  This is my opinion of the events of the day, and my opinion only. My thoughts are with everyone present at the meeting where this took place.  I cannot imagine the horror. As I listen to the news media back track over announcing Rep. Giffords dead, and now indicating she is in surgery in critical condition, my thoughts go to the person who commit this crime.  This just proves that people cannot be adult about ANYTHING anymore, and have to act like a spoiled brat that doesn't get their way.  There's a reason America is a democracy, there's a reason so many died to preserve our freedom, and people like this have no sense of anything.  They are a waste of space.  What has happened to our country, that people think it's okay to do something like this? And now to the shooter: Who in the hell do you think you are?  I don't care what kind of life you had, or how bad...

So I'm getting closer to graduation...next year in fact.  I'll know more about exactly when after I meet with my advisor in a few weeks.  My wish for a graduation gift is a trip to England and Wales.  It's been my wish for quite a while, actually, but I think it's a great graduation gift to myself.  Geesh, that sounds narcissistic!  Regardless, it's what I want for graduation, and after all these months of my nose in a book that's not of my choosing, I think it's a fair request! ;) Really, we've been trying to go forever now.  I've lost count of how many time we've actually started to make plans, look at dates, etc., only for something to come up and completely wipe out the idea.  Needless to say I've not been amused at those turns of events.   Until then, I've decided to start my England 2012 bank account.  Monday I will go to the bank and start an account.  I have no idea when I'll have any extra money to dump in there, but I...

I get this question a lot it seems, and I'm not sure why.  What is is about romance novels that make those who do not read them, question me as to why I read them?  Is it because they contain *gasp* sex? they whisper.  Am I trying to escape from something? they ask knowingly.  No, actually I'm not, thanks.  Are they serious?  These lovely people cannot fathom why I want to read "smut".  It's as if they don't consider it literature, and so I quickly tell them that many, if not most romance novels are very well written, and the stories are full of romance, angst, history, fabulous plot lines, and yes, sex.  That always gets an eyebrow raise!  Usually these conversations are funny, and it ends with me recommending an author for them to start out with if they're interesting in taking the plunge.  I have no idea if they actually read the book I recommend, but I've done my part for the good of the genre. I remember when I first began getting...

....and it's a good one! Come on over to Bookishly and join in our Romance Reading Challenge!!

I've just learned there is a Austen short story contest going on...and I'm seriously considering entering something!  Here is the link:  http://austenprose.com/2010/12/14/announcing-the-jane-austen-made-me-do-it-short-story-contest/ I've missed writing so much, and this would be something that mean a short commitment. Hrm...so do I dare?

Alright, I've had nearly five people ask me what New Year's resolutions I've made, and they have all been surprised when I tell them none.  I just never do them because when I do, I never achieve them.  2010 wasn't a bad year, in fact, it was a good year.  I'm in a great new job, have a wonderful family, and am trucking away on getting my degree, with my ring being the big step back in March of 2010.  So, this year, I'm going to make some "goals" and post them here.  I am not calling these resolutions, because when I call them that, I set myself up for failure.  These are my "goals" for 2011.  They are completely random! 1. Keep up with homework, without sacrificing myself. 2. Don't let things stress me out so much (see #1) 3. Get out more...with husband, friends, me and baby...doesn't matter who. 4. Read more!  This may contradict #3, but the list of books read this year is pathetically small. 5. Strive to be positive, and avoi...

So 2011 is here, and with that a new opportunity to broaden my horizons and move out of my comfort zone slightly to discover new literature.  Bring on the reading challenges! Historical Fiction Challenge 2011 :  Ha!  My favorite genre!  I think I can handle this!  This challenge can be overlapped with other challenges for 2011, which will be inevitable, it seems.  Here are the levels:   Severe Bookaholism: 20 books;  Undoubtedly Obsessed: 15 books;  Struggling the Addiction: 10 books;  Daring & Curious: 5 books;  Out of My Comfort Zone: 2 books.  I believe I shall be entering myself under the level of Struggling the Addiction.  Really, I have severe bookaholism, but time constraints do not allow my to read 20 books that will of course take me way from actually doing any homework this year.  My first semester of the year is a Shakespeare class, so I'm sure I'll have my fill of historical writings! Jane Austen...